Turkey at 3:30

The crazy peacefulness of Halloween is over. The candy has jacked up the kids and Tis the Season is exploding all around. Now is the time to prepare for dinner with strangers... yeapers that means family...and get ready for arguements and scornful glances...Then the ever fun... Tell everyone what your thankful for...

Seriously this is what it is like for most people, come on they Make movies about it!

I have been pondering the next major Holiday and what it means to me? When was I the most happy. Some would claim childhood, but I have found that my Thanksgivings are always more fulfilling if I spend them with the black sheep as I have always been one myself. Late night evening Turkey served at 3:30 am for the waiters and waitresses who are away from home and worked all night serving. I miss my misfit band on Turkey day!Or to a small group of friends who wanted to make sure I was not alone! Yeah, I have some great friends. But I tell ya, nothing like beer and turkey at 3:30 am. I want to take my kids to feed the homeless and all such, its not the same, but I will "norman rockwell" it, if it means my honey and kiddos are happy

I have been introduced to families that are always together. Every thinkable holiday there they are. Faces full of smiles. Hidden resentment. And like any good high school click, you don't follow you don't fit. I have faced this knowing that it doesn't matter near as much as those friends. Knowing that playing this role is taking me away from my REAL family. I want to have My 3:30 am dinner. I want to see my old friends and I want say Thank You. I want to be able to HONESTLY look around my blanket on the floor at the people around not necessarily knowing their names or anything about them and Be THANKFUL they are there with me!

I join the new "family" tradition. All the while knowing they don't know me or want to. The way our views clash and how we are not allowed to clash. I have several friends whom I love dearly and disagree with almost daily! You know who you are. But it didn't matter. The smiles from these people were and are real, this family thing seems so false. "keep the peace" No active discussions agree or shut up. I recall a favorite night out involved little drinking and no sex, just an two hour long discussion on abortion... with a person I just met. It was an active debate and we smiled through it and when our mutual friend wanted to talk about something else we just agreed to disagree and moved on to whether Star Wars or Empire was better! I can't imagine that in this current setting, I cant imagine this new family watching Star Wars... but I am sure they could tell me the schematics of the war/space program. I try to add to a conversation and I feel as if the whole scene should just be posted on Epic FAIL. So join the other family, even worse, I have been the black sheep there since birth, literally... so I am blamed for my mere existence and lack of communication. Don't EVEN get me started on Religion! They have NO CLUE what their own brother believes much less me! Ahhh, I loved sitting across from mexicans, african americans, chinese and white people alike. Not hearing racial slurs and laughing. At those 3:30 dinners... it didn't matter... it was music and stupid jokes about stupid things like bodily functions, quoting favorite comics like Robin Williams. Where the people might be gay or might not and I was prolly the only one WITHOUT a weird piercing or tatoo! Back before tatoos and piercings were popular.

I need to figure this out, its such a hard time to deal with. If I ask to keep this holiday my own I get the "You aren't being part of the family." "Your keeping us from our brother blah blah blah" Sadly yes and no... Yes, I am not doing what you do, but No I just want my turkey! Oh and BTW half the time I am the one who tells him to call his family! I want my stuffing where everyone has to help make it. Its so much fun to see people who do not cook get thier hands dirty and get silly while mixing the bread and cornbread up! And then the oh so civilized sit down and rip apart this poor ritual sacrifice... Hey blame Joss Whedon he,actually his character Anya, pointed it out! And people singing to songs they claim to hate but know the words and smile the whole time they sing them off tune! Then followed by some good ole Metallica because really How Long can we stand to listen to xmas music so early! Then Everyone happy and sleepy from the turkey and a long day head home. Those who have come in to visit settle in the couch for a viewing of "Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas" and then who knows... Maybe some Robin Williams.

Okay SCREW IT... THANKSGIVING! MY PLACE! Emmet Otter and Metallica! I'm Gonna Teach LOVE and Acceptance to my kids. Come if you want!