Again in front of my computer noticing the everything and nothing all at once. Listening to a favorite song from my childhood... I realize... When do you learn to be an adult? Let's just stop a minute and think... It wasn't when we first spoke or walked or even had sex. That was not the moment. Not our first drink or our experience with death. So When?
I find myself thinking of this because of the many interactions I have had of late mostly with younger generations... not that I see myself as THAT old I still have much to learn myself... I deal with the infant who truly knows nothing but their needs and cries for each and every one... I deal with the child who knows there is more but cannot really comprehend the more and falls back to crying for their needs... I deal with the young adult so sure of all their needs and so self righteous that they demand all other conform to their point of view and when that is not met... they cry, well shout... And the not yet grown grownup who demands solidarity and yet requires assistance and when it is not given they no longer cry... they sulk... And the elderly who have seen almost all and know so much and yet act as tho they know so little, such wonderful teachers,... They have more needs than before and feel ashamed and cry... We shame them because we become afraid of them... And there is me... the somewhere between grownup... believing I have grown up and become an adult trying to keep a steady supply of tissues and compassion. And when I fail as will happen, I weep.
So where is this "Adult Education"? When do we learn to stop being completely selfish and learn that we have to help others? When do we learn true sacrifice? There is just so much that makes us adult and yet childlike. Why is it the hurt can cause us to wail and become the small child who is getting chided by a favorite parent? Or the Anger that Rages so hot it is as if you will never feel calm again. Are you an adult when you truly realize you make mistakes and do not know everything? When you forgive those who hurt you because you know they are wounded? When your rage becomes tears? Are you an adult when you realize that right here and right now is the best? I wish I knew the answer I only know the search.
I share this because today of all days has been an extraordinarily trying one, filled with tantrums, arguments, and misunderstandings. Yet the love I feel for these people still flows strong. Why is it I can forgive the wrongdoer and kiss their wounds? Why when only a short time ago I was filled with such rage? Why... because simply... I am They and They are Me. We all have been there or will soon be. Maybe that is the only real Adult Education. "Believe it or not There IS life after High School."
